Sophia Talks About: Beyond Fate…   your best comes to life

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Question:  HOW DOES ONE'S BEST COME TO LIFE?
Sophia:   Our best life does not come from the other or the outside.  It comes from within.  We are born with an intuitive understanding of our path on earth and with a natural inclination to reach our highest success. 
Our full glory is right there inside of us.  
Yet as soon as the child is born, the environment intrudes with socialization and wounding and the natural child becomes a conditioned and defended child. 
We learn to think a certain way, we adopt particular beliefs about ourselves, we become habituated in our mind-set and then we go through life resurrecting and recreating experiences which conform to the particular beliefs and thoughts.  Often we find ourselves going through the same experience, over and over again, as if we are stuck on a very personal and particular merry-go-round. 
The conditioned child has grown into an adult who identifies more with conditioned nature, wounding and defenses, than with the innate powers. 
No one is born unhappy.  No one is born in conflict.  Unhappiness and conflict are created.  And whatever you create you can re-create.  All we need to do is stop thinking "I was born born like this" or "I can't change".  Anyone can change, change and growth are natural.  Anyone can unlearn what is learned and re-create what was created. 
Beyond Fate... guides you in becoming who you are meant to be.   Beyond Fate... gives birth to full glory.

Question: HOW DID WE BECOME BLOCKED BY PAST AND CONDITIONING?
Sophia:  While we grow up we take in beliefs and projections about ourselves from the environment, just like we inhale air.   Because we have not been told better and therefore don't know better, we often fall for what comes from the outside, hook, line and sinker.  What is imposed on us by others is gradually and unconsciously swallowed, internalized and made our own - as if by osmosis.  
We have been sold falsehood.  And now we condemn ourselves with the foreign and false messages and make all of it part of our self-esteem.  
"I believed that I was everything  my father told me I was", said journalist and novelist Dominick Dunne (1925-2009) in a documentary about his life, aptly called - After The Party. 
"Some of the pain about his criticism is still with me".  "I thought low of myself".  "I didn't feel I deserved to be where I was".  "I did dangerous things".  "I was the architect of my own failure". 
Dunne lost his marriage, his career as a successful and wealthy Hollywood producer, his beautiful home and the many party's he and his wife threw, attended by the rich, the glamorous, and the famous.  "I always thought I was not worthy".  
In midlife Dunne wound up completely broke, because he believed his father's appraisal of him as a deficient, unworthy child, who deserved beatings with the belt.  
Like most children Dunne did not realize that he had become the repository for his father's personal problems and projections.  Like most children he faithfully accepted whatever his father fed him as "the truth".  Dunne was loyal to his father's appraisal to the detriment of himself. 
This loyalty became a self-fulfilling phrophecy: he became the "fuck-up" and "sissy" his father made him think he was.  Yet the unforgettable Dominick Dunne had the courage to spend months in a cabin far away from Hollywood, take stock, enter a 12 step program, stop believing his father's projections, start believing in himself and get back on top.  He came to understand that he was not a born "fuck-up", but that his father was incapable of loving him as the worthy child he truly was.  He freed himself from the past, came into his own power and came to understand he was worthy of success and love.  Thus he lived a valuable and successful second act, in which he took on bullies, took on the murderer of his daughter and ultimately took on the American judicial system.
"I had it all and I blew it". said Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York.  Growing up, the second child in an English country gentry family, she was called the "sheep's ass".  Sarah had such low self-esteem that she blamed herself for the fact that her mother remarried, moved to Argentina and left the children in the care of the father.  Her parents neither enlightened nor unburdened her.  Once, in a moment of despair, Sarah called her mother and begged her to tell her she loved her, yet her mother answered:  "stupid, you don't need to hear that". 
Sarah went on to marry Prince Andrew, Duke of York, the second son of Queen Elizabeth II and lived in the Royal Palace.  But on the inside she felt worthless, unlovable and lost and she went on painfully sabotaging herself. 
Over and over she resurrects making a fool of herself.  Whatever she does, she is always sets it up in such a way that in the end she can be the sheep's ass once again.  It will take more than a couple of talks with Dr. Phil to break the deeply engrained vicious cycle. 
Richard Pryor, in his infinite wisdom, explains the title of his autobiography: Pryor Convictions and Other Life Sentences: "Family is a mixed blessing. You're glad to have one, but it's also like receiving a life sentence for a crime you did not commit".
How do beautiful, extra-ordinary gifted, rich, famous or royal people like Dominick Dunne, Sarah Ferguson, Richard Pryor or Marvin Gaye wind up being extra-ordinarily self-destructive?
Growing up they swallowed the crap and cruelty imposed on them by their environment and it imprinted them.  They were marked and the mark became self-sabotage or self-abuse. 
In the end the mark literally struck Pryor down in a wheelchair with multiple sclerosis. "God struck me down with this M.S. shit to save my life", he said.   Yet the source of his life threatening self-abuse and subsequent illnesses was internalized crap and cruelty.  The mark struck him down, not God.  All God did was lovingly save his life over and over.
Marvin Gaye was literally killed by the mark.  
Marvin, in his deeply engrained self-loading practically handed his father the gun to shoot him, provoked his father to end the internal anguish caused by severe abuse in his childhood.  
The father who shot Marvin was the father who instilled the emotional turmoil and self-sabotage in Marvin in the first place.   And the mother who supposedly loved Marvin so much, was the same mother who devastatingly failed to protect him from his father's sadistic, satanic, sexually tainted beatings when he was little.   Everyone in Marvin's environment colluded with the violence.  
No one spoke up for the abused child, no one expressed indignation.  No one stopped the father.  Even the justice system let father off the hook. So how is Marvin to know he deserved better? 
Self-love is learned through the love of the environment.  Who taught Marvin he was loveble for who he really was, instead of what he had to offer?  Who told him he deserved better than what he got in his childhood?  Who taught him to let go of the cruel, demeaning internalized parental voice?  Who helped him change his self-image?  Who taught him to break the vicious cycle of self-sabotage.  Who helped him to fully live his higher self, all the way into a deserved, happy old age?  No one.
Of course, the original culprit for the two men was the deadly sting of slavery and racism.
Given cultural history, environment, childhood, the relentless pressure of the entertainment world and the intens scrutiny of the media, it is a pure miracle these men held out as long and as brilliant as they did.   Most people would have given up a long time ago, or become homicidal.
Imagine the possibilities for Richard Pryor and Marvin Gaye if they had received support in freeing themselves of the mark, in freeing themselves of the internalized abuse, in freeing themselves of abuse turned self-loading.  Imagine Sarah Ferguson's success, happiness and peace of mind after she enters a steady process of recovery, becomes fully aware of the workings of the mark, breaks the vicious cycle and jumps off her merry-go-round.  Imagine the power of your spirit when the obstructions of socialization, childhood wounding and adult defense are defeated...

Question: PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT ENTRAPMENT VERSUS FREEDOM.
Sophia: After working with many people from all walks of life, on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean, I began to see patterns.  We are beholden to the past in ways we are unaware of and in ways we self create or re-enact.
The mark goes hand in hand with the "merry-go-round".  
The merry-go-round is our natural inclination, our natural compulsion to resurrect known situations, simply because we don't know better and it feels comfortable in its familiarity (familiarity as in familar and familiarity as in family).
Musician Eric Clapton was a substance abuser for most of his life, with a string of failed relationships.   For years he longed for and lusted after stunning model Patty Boyd, wife of Beatle George Harrison.  When he finally married her, only to be faced with a divorce, he asked himself some serious questions about the connection between his childhood and his recurrent relational problems: "Were these the conditions that had governed my feelings about my mother and was I still unconsciously trying to replicate that relationship"?
You bet Eric was!   He was entrapped in a familiar pattern and the same old vicious cycle.  Because his mother rejected him from a very early age, Eric resurrected rejection in his relations from age nine on: "I became surly and withdrawn, rejecting everyone's affection, as I felt I had been rejected". "I found a pattern in my behavior that had been repeating itself for years, decades even". "I could only choose partners who would ultimately abandon me, as I was convinced my mother had done, all those years ago". "I was living it all out in the present". "It seemed I would never be able to break the mold".
Eric puts the finger on the merry-go-round.   We become puppets on the strings of our past lacerations.   We keep resurrecting fate.   From habit we live our past.   From habit we repeat same old, same old, even though we desperately long for something better and new.   Although Clapton is a genius in music, he suffered from a fatal state of atrophy in his personal life.  Yet he got help, did the work of self-reflection, empowered himself, broke the mold and moved into his best life.

Question: HOW DOES ONE CLIMB OUT OF THE PRISON OF OUR PAST?
Sophia: There is not one strategy or one cookie cutter approach.  If there was one everyone would be doing it.  It's a bunch of strategies applied simultaniously, all of them in the service of working through and rising above one's very personal past.  We go on a archeological dig, while simultaniously gaining clarity about the future.  Once obstacles are dissolved and intend is crystal clear, things fall into place, as if the universe is aligning itself with the personal. 
Eric Clapton bravely took on a personal gig of uncovering and recovering. He was willing to lay it on the line and insisted on healing for the sake of his now deceased son Connor: "I had to break the chain and give him what I never really had…"
Everyone lives at least one core theme from the past that gets repeated over and over. 
Imagine the amount of energy and potential Eric freed up, once he dissolved old defenses and broke mold and jumped of the merry go round.  He attracted a new way of living and the family he never had! 
 
Question: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO ELIMINATE THE OBSTACLES IN THE WAY OF OUR BEST LIFE?
Sophia: You can't break a glorious cake without breaking some eggs or with old ingredients.  Whatever you are struggling with, conflict, dissatisfaction, economic crisis, difficulties in general, it's all part of life and grist for the mill of renewal and change.  It is easy to reach out to the quick fix.  It is easy to hang on to habits, like Eric Clapton did before his recovery. That's comfort-zone.  Change takes work.  But what seems like a crisis, a cross or an inevitable fate often is simply a wake-up call and a stepping stone on the way to a new solution.  It's a matter of making time and putting one foot in front of the other.   Once we understand the programming, light bulbs go on, quarters drop, thinking and feeling shifts and intent becomes crystal clear.  We are now ready to create and attract full glory.

Question: WHAT IS THE MOST COMMON OBSTRUCTION IN THE WAY OF OUR BEST LIFE?
Sophia: One of the great tragedies of human behavior is that the smart and efficient adaptations we create in our childhood to survive difficult situations, inevitably turn against us and defeat us, when we become adults.
When Eric Clapton at nine years old became surly and rejecting, it was simply his way of surviving a profound painful trauma.   Becoming surly and rejecting was his defense, a very effective defense, given the situation and his age.  
Yet the same smart defense that made him survive childhood, kept him from growing, getting his needs met and having fulfilling relations, once he was an adult.  That's the bad news.  The good news is that we can turn the great tragedy into a great opportunity.  Eric Clapton and many others are proof.  

Question: HOW CAN WE USE THE POWER OF MIND TO CREATE HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS?
Sophia: Through the ages people have known about the awesome power of self-fulfilling prophecy and the law of attraction and used these powers to transform problems into happiness and success.
"The Secret", as seen in the movie or described in Rhonda Byrne's book, was known by Aboriginal peoples, ancient Polynesians and well-known sages alike.  
"With our thoughts we make the world", says the Buddha.
"Ask, believing that you have received it now", said Jesus.
"Until we believe that it is, said Ernest Holmes, we are believing that it is not!"
Jamie Sams, a Native American medicine teacher tells us: "the human children of the earth have bodies that stand upright, keeping their thoughts above their bodies as a reminder that thoughts are the first acts of manifesting reality".
Many people who promote "the Secret" talk about it as if it is something new, as if it is their secret, as if they know some magic trick to make all our dreams come true, not fully comprehending the tradition.
The true keepers of the Secret, the Kahunas, the ancient spiritual advisers of Hawaii (kahu is caretaker), were careful never to separate the practice from it's spiritual context.  
The objective was balance and completeness, a material, emotional and physical wellbeing, a general changing of life for the better.  Most people who promote "the Secret", do not understand or conveniently forget to tell you that you can only use the power of mind if you also deal with the unconscious part of the mind.  In other words, your right hand needs to be aware of what the left hand is doing.  You need to make sure that your left hand is not unconsciously sabotaging what your right hand is re-creating.
Our behavior is determined by our unconscious and our unconscious is influenced by our belief-systems.   Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become character and character becomes fate.  We can only make changes and create happiness and success, if we become aware of our thoughts and belief-systems.  Through awareness we can change and shift thinking.  We let go of old thoughts and make room for new thoughts, which then generates new actions, new habits and attracts new manifestation.  
Tina Turner is a great example of the POWER OF MIND.
Tina is right up there with Victor Frankl who survived World War II and the Holocaust, because he understood that "the last of human freedom's is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way".
Tina chose her own way. She never bought into the programming, the crap and cruelty imposed on her, growing up or while married to Ike Turner.   She suffered it.   But she did not swallow it. 
She did not swallow that her mother did not love her.  She simply felt sorry for herself.   She did not swallow Ike Turner's abuse or bad behavior: "Once when Ike tried to give me drugs, I blew it in his face.  I have principles I feel good about.  I like me very much."   She knew she did not earn it:  "I've been told many reasons for why I lived through what I did.  But I never felt I deserved it."  Tina knew she was simply working through fate, learning lessons, finishing up karma: "I came into this lifetime with a job to finish, I finished it well."
Tina literally worked, prayed and chanted hell out of her life, until all her dreams came true…